is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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