'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
