Are we in a gay sports bar?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
