Well douche your snatch and let's go!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
false alarm. still invincible.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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