big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize