you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
