Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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