They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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