I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
