Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
