question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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