just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
