Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
