We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
