I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
