I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
