I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
