In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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