Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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