Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
