i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
