If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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