I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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