Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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