My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am one with the molecules
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
