Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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