ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
