What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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