He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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