Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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