I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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