One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
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It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
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Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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