it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
