I think my vagina is haunted
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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