i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
