i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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