no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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