Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
