Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize