In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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