I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
