No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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