Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
