i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize