smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
