come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
