i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
