shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
