Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
