Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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