Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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