Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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