Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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