If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
