I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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