i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just had sex bonerless
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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