Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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