she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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