would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize