I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
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And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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