i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize