he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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