I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
