i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
