he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
this boner is exhausting
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
