You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
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I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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