I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
